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Old 03-16-2013, 06:00 AM   #311
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There is no justice. There's just us.

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Old 03-16-2013, 08:28 AM   #312
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You should always carry a gun and a condom, you never know when you'll need them.

I'm so hungry I could eat the ass out of a skunk.

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Old 03-16-2013, 09:37 AM   #313
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Freedom (free-dum) is a two syllable word. If you don't understand the first your destined to be the second! ~ Me 2013

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Old 03-17-2013, 01:15 AM   #314
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If it flys, f***s, or floats, your better off renting it on an as needed basis....

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The Founders DID anticipate that arms technology would advance, that's why the 2nd amendment doesn't say "the right to keep and bear a musket".......

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Old 03-17-2013, 05:10 AM   #315
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" Buy land 'cause they aren't making any more land . "

" Get a lot while you're young . Call Your Realtor . "

" The three most important things in Real estate are location, location and location . "

" Buy real estate because real estate always goes up and stocks always go down . "

" A house that you own is better than a palace that you rent. "

" Of the three, which doesn't belong ? : Herpes, gonnorhea or a condo in Atlanta ?
Answer : Gonnorhea. Because you can get rid of gonnorhea . "

" If you believe that, I've got some swamp land in Louisiana to talk to you about . "

" If you let everyone know your business, pretty soon you won't have any . "

" You trust your mother but you cut the cards . "

" You're like television, Diana . You destroy everything you come in contact with . " - William Holden to Faye Dunnaway in the movie, Network -

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Old 03-17-2013, 05:48 AM   #316
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Y'all stay away from my redheaded girlfriend. ~ Me, just now.

(I'd drive in reverse 5000 miles for her, a trucker ain't got nothin on me.)

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Old 03-17-2013, 06:04 AM   #317
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"Slicker than geased owl snot"
"Colder than a witches tit"
"Colder than a well diggers a$$"
"Tighter than a nuns tw*t"
"Drier than a powder makers a$$ hole"
My grandad.

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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. –Mark Twain

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Old 03-17-2013, 06:06 AM   #318
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" It's not what you know ; it's who you know . "

" It's not who you know, it's who you blow . "

" Singles bars will get more out of you than you get out of them . "

" The world is not kind to stupid people and lazy people " .

" Idle hands do the devil's work ".

" An idle mind is the devil's workshop. "

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Old 03-17-2013, 06:09 AM   #319
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The grass is always greener where the dogs are ****ting.

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Old 03-17-2013, 06:22 AM   #320
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Quotes From Homer Simpson :
"Trying is the first step towards failure."

" They have the Internet on computers, now? "

" What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway? "

" You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on EVERY CAR! "

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

" Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it. "

" Carnies Built this country, the carnival part of it anyway. "

" sure, IN theeoory, in theory communism works ..."

" I should have paid attention to the side effects. It's all in here. "

" The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else ..."

" Oh! I haven't changed since high school and suddenly I am uncool."

" Internet! Is that thing still around? "

" The girls of the internet. Ooh, I'd go online with them anyday! ( Looking at a "nudie deck" )"

" I don't apologize. I am sorry Lisa, that's the way I am."

" What's keeping Joan Rivers alive? "

" Ooh! sensory depravation kicks ass! "

"Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!"

" Bart, you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing! "

" To be loved, you have to be nice to others EVERYDAY!. To be hated, you don't have to do squat. ( advice to Mr.Burns ). "

" Do I know what rhetorical means? "

" Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! "

" I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four."

" I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnidght. "

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV. "

" Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand! "

" Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. "

" Son, being popular is the most important thing in the whole world. "
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