[Davyboy]

We who have lived life at some time have had that smart assed comment that made us feel 2 inches tall and a little red in the cheeks. I will start.

In my youth when I fancied myself as a ladies man I was in a pub in Liverpool England. I had been eyeing up a particular young lady who was very attractive, spying my chance whils't she was at the bar I walked up and offered to buy her a drink, she replied in a thick Liverpool accent. I already have one ass hole in my pants and don't need another one so f**k off

[PanBaccha]

So very Liverpoolish.

[Sniper03]

Davyboy!

WOW! Could we say she definitely beat to the chase! Could you imagine being with her anyway! She obviously was a real charmer! Now that is a PUT DOWN!
One I heard was a police officer stopped a lady for excessive speed in the normal fashion.
He went up to the car and ask here for her license and registration. Then he said excuse me for asking, but where is the Fire! She responded, right here between my legs and I do not think you have enough hose to put it out! OUCH!

03

[manta]

Did you get of with her. ?

[rurak]

On the night of my senior prom my best friend and our dates were taking pics at my house. My dad wouldnt stop telling me to drive safe so i poured on the sarcastic tone and said "i understand dad". He proceeded to tell me in front of everyone (my date included) "youre not too old for me to put you across my knee" ..... i was 17 .... friggin weirdo

[NitroxAZ]

Several years ago a friend of mine and I were having a discussion with a guy who was anti gun. He was making several stupid comments and my friend finally had enough of this guy's nonsense and said

"I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and $h1t a better argument than that"

[Davyboy]

Originally Posted by manta

Did you get of with her. ?

Nah she scared me to death, I wasn't even old enough to drink at the time.

[tri70]

A buddy and would always be on the make for chicks back in the day. If we saw a good looking one with a lesser one, we would usually say, Your not gonna like the one your gonna get!

[Dillinger]

Way back in the day, 100 years ago or so.

Friday and Saturday night cruising was a big deal and a great way to meet girls. I was with a buddy at the time, we were big gym rats, trained together and always thought having a good set of arms/shoulders and a smile was a great in.

We were driving in my Mustang GT at the time, one of many money pits that I had sunk most of my salary into and was souped up, tinted, rimmed and had an awesome stereo.

We had seen these hot girls in a Jeep cruising several times and we had flirted, but were never side by side on the same run through the cruising strip, but they weren't the only girls we were interested in on that night.

So after a stop for some eats, we were pulling out of McDonald's as, low and behold, in pulled the Jeep. We were waiting to exit and they were waiting for in on the drive thru so we were driver to driver.

With the windows down, and the jeep wide open we make an attempt to engage the two in the Jeep when the driver started with a green light if ever I had heard one.

"Hey, I really like your body, that is gorgeous"......

I responded that I was impressed with hers too, my chest all inflated and thinking I was within sight of closing escrow.

"Oh, you thought I was talking about you? I meant the car you arrogant dick" and drove ahead into the drive thru.

Put Down - Achieved. Ego? Shot to sh*t.

[opaww]

I came home early from work one day and entered the house , the wife did not hear me come in because she was deeply ingoessed in cybersexing. I walked up behind her and saw what she was doing then said doesn't that keyboard hurt in there? She jumped with a start and composed herself then said "No there is plenty of room" At which I said "your not telling me anything new"

I have not had sex sense