Any Rennies?
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:41 PM   #1
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Default Any Rennies?

Has anyone here ever attended a Rennaissance Festival?
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:49 PM   #2
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I wanted to but when I found out you had to wear green tights I passed. Plus I don't feel like singing that stupid freecreditreport.com song, but I might go if that guy is there so I can kick him in the nuts and smash is guitar over his darn head.
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:53 PM   #3
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You are an angry, angry man.
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Old 04-28-2009, 05:10 PM   #4
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Yeah, the Sterling Renaissance Festival outside Oswego, NY. I actually worked there for a few summers in the early 1990s. (My then-new wife talked me into it. It wasn't my idea.) The festival owners were neurotically strict about authenticity: none of this green-tight bullsh*t. The year was 1585 and the location was Warwick, England. You needed period clothing made out of period material and it had to be hand sewn (or at the very least no machine stitching could be visible). Period dialect and accent were required. Swords, daggers and jewelry had to be appropriate to the period. Absolutely no anachronisms were allowed including eyeglasses, plastic, cameras or even a tan line from your wristwatch. If it didn't exist in 1585, you didn't wear it, hold it, drink from it or eat off it. (Money was the only exception to this rule.)

It was actually pretty cool and well done.

Unfortunately, ownership changed and it has started going downhill.

I still have a ton of battle-ready blades from when I worked there, too, which is cool.

But oh, how I miss the cleavage. Chicks were plentiful, gorgeous and extremely outgoing and friendly. One fine lady with enormous hooters who worked there wore a low-cut chemise and would put grapes in her ample cleavage and offer you some. Just shove your face in her chest and have at it. Good family fun.

Sometimes, we'd get guests who thought dressing up like Robin Hood was appropriate. Others dressed in duct tape "armor" with cardboard shields. We'd mercilessly mock the hell out of those freaks.
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Old 04-28-2009, 05:13 PM   #5
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Now that sounds incredibly cool.
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Old 04-28-2009, 06:16 PM   #6
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Tango, you a funny guy. Thanks for todays LOL.
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Old 04-28-2009, 06:28 PM   #7
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On a serious note. I have always wanted to go to one really. Thought it would be fun to drink some mead and knaw on a turkey leg.
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Old 04-28-2009, 06:32 PM   #8
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I went to one in the early nineties. It was a different experience for sure. Some folks were truly and deeply into it. I would go again sometime just for fun, it's not my thing, but it was enjoyable.
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Old 04-28-2009, 08:57 PM   #9
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There was alot of man love going on in that period of history. There was also a lack of cleanliness. Don't forget the plague and consumption. Stanky, toothless, nappy haired ladies were common. I would imagine vaginosis was very common as well. Anyone experience those things at those fairs?

Don't forget about VDs.
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Old 04-28-2009, 09:04 PM   #10
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I went to about six of them in the late 90's. I had a friend who was "competing" in the Knight's Tournament and we would go and heckle the hell out of him. It was awesome fun. He would take a serious beating but won about 70% of his fights. They would hit him and he would have to "drop" one weapon and hold his arm limp ( he used a mace and long "sword" ) and somehow always managed to get hit in his sword arm, which was his dominant arm ).

The food was great. Everything was grease dripping off your wrist good.

I definitely enjoyed the time spent there at the Fair grounds. But, people do take that stuff a bit too seriously.

JD
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