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Old 02-25-2010, 02:06 PM   #1
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hey guys, I know this is kinda irrelevant to the form but I have been looking to buy a rifle for some time and this summer i was gonna actually get one. (Marlin 30-30 lever) However, my girlfriend basically told be that we are done if I get a gun. I have tried to tell her that i would be safe and that I would keep it unloaded and locked up, i even offered to store it at a local gun range. I see where she is coming from because she we were raised in Boston MA and she has he same reaction to guns that everyone else in boston does, to cringe and hind at the mention of them. Anyway, i was wondering if anyone had had a similar experience and would have any insight on how to soften her up a bit to the idea of me owning 1 target rifle, not even for home defense or hunting, just fun long distance targets. By the way, i am pretty sure that I will not be able to get her to actually try shooting so that option is outta the question.

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Old 02-25-2010, 02:29 PM   #2
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Maybe she would try an air rifle? I have a little .177 pellet rifle that is fun for target shooting; it's quieter, cheaper to shoot, and lighter weight than my other firearms. She must have a limit somewhere; did she ever play Duckhunt or any video games with "guns"?

Seems silly to me. Good luck with her.
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Old 02-25-2010, 02:30 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by chip102 View Post
However, my girlfriend basically told me that we are done if I get a gun.
Key words there. I guess this boils down to what is more important to you? IMO, I think she needs some real world firearms education and some range time. Maybe a diamond to go with that Marlin 30-30?

Or you could just drop her off in the very worst part of your town for a while, then ask her what she thinks...if she makes it back.



"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway

“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.”
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Old 02-25-2010, 02:32 PM   #4
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Short of having a very bad life changing experience, most anti's will never use logic to consider guns being OK. You may be fighting a losing battle where you will have to make a decision - a gun or her...
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Old 02-25-2010, 02:51 PM   #5
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She is afflicted with Hopolophobia (the fear of weapons, especially firearms). Like any phobia it is very difficult to treat as it is irrational fear. If she were able to talk rationally about the topic, she could be treated.
does her blood pressure/heart rate increase at the sight of a firearm? Can she look calmly at a picture of a gun? Can she watch a "shoot em up" movie?

My advise is to look at treatments for phobias in general and see if she can be treated. I have found that education is one of the keys to the treatment for a phobia. The more the person understands about the object/situation/animal they fear, the less irrational the fear becomes.

I had a phobia (I won't get into it here). I learned the cause (childhood trauma) and read extensively on the thing I feared. After I learned more about it, the less I feared it. I still avoid it but my blood pressure/heart rate remain much more stable when exposed to it.

If all else fails, she is not the right girl for you as you have "grown apart" best to find out early in a relationship that it will not work out.
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:01 PM   #6
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Well Chip I do understand your situation. I have good friends that live in inner cities that view guns the same way. Unfortinutely in most of these cases it is the lack of positive associations with guns and lack of rural enviroment that opinions of gun negativity exists. I am going on limb and say your girlfriend is not the outdoor type being from Boston. Try this. If you want to purchase a gun more than likely you will hve to change her opinion on guns. Intoduce her to positive activities that later will interwine the activities to positive gun views. For example. Take her hiking, remember if she is an urban girl, you will have to intoduce her to the outdoors slowly. Don't throw her into a boat and expect her to thread a worm on a hook, just ain't gonna happen. Introduce her to the outdoors slowly, hiking, camping, sking, kayaking, boating, then to fishing. Do a catch and release trip to start then move onto catching a fish and roasting it over a nice camp fire. This is a big step. Remember most people who view guns negatively associate guns with death. This is also true for inner city folks that view hunting as a brutal sport. They just don't associate the steak that they just purchased as a living breathing animal. Most people dont associate meat with animals unless they see a part that screams animal, like a foot, inner organ, hair, head, or sometimes bone. My wife still can't eat chicken if there is a bone in it. So going back to the point, if she is ok with you taking the life of a fish to sustain yourself and her, it really isn't that hard tto move onto the next step, hunting which "Ta Da" associates guns with a positive. Believe me it's a lot of work but it works. I am living proof. My wife was just like your girlfriend. She still don't like guns, but and its a big but, she understands why I have them. And i have a lot of them.....Like I said it is a lot of work, but if she is worth it, then it really isn't much work. Besides I could think of much worse ways of changing someone elses oponions other than spending my time out doors.
what ever you do...good luck
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:19 PM   #7
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I won't comment because it would be too harsh. Good luck.
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”Samuel Adams
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:23 PM   #8
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If it was me, I'd get the gun. Did you know she hated guns before y'all started dating, or did the subject never come up until you told her you wanted one?
I can't say I know how you feel because everyone in Texas likes guns, so the problem you're having is one I've never experienced nor do I personally know anyone who's experienced it.
Sorry this is happening to you, but as said earlier, which do you want more?
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:39 PM   #9
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Hey you guys
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:41 PM   #10
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My wife was the same way. She had a better reason to dislike guns. She was shot when she was younger. It took a long, looooong time to get her to warm up to the idea of shooting. She's still apprehensive, but she now has a Concealed Carry Permit, and goes to the range with me whenever I ask. A lot of times, one idiot can mess a person up for life. Show her that you are responsible, and no harm will come of her.
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