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Old 07-31-2009, 02:59 PM   #11
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Day 10

"Learn how to grill day"

0430- wake up
0431- Sh*t, shower, shave, shampoo
0445- Breakfast, if you're fast enough
0500- Hog hunt
1200- Cook the damn hog
1700- Eat the damn hog
1730- Run until you puke the damn hog...

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Old 07-31-2009, 03:06 PM   #12
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Day 11, Alcohol!

0500: So you wanna drink. Okay, you're learning to be a man, and for many men, drinking is a way to unwind, bond, or celebrate.

But you've been a nasty little Emo. You sneak into Daddy's liquor cabinent, and sample the wine coolers he buys for Mommy.

Today's mantra is simple. Drink
Run
Puke
Repeat.

Nothing goes with an adult beverage like a smoke. You will be permitted Lucky Strikes during the run portion.

Not so much fun now, right?

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Old 07-31-2009, 03:43 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Benning Boy View Post
Day 11, Alcohol!

0500: So you wanna drink. Okay, you're learning to be a man, and for many men, drinking is a way to unwind, bond, or celebrate.

But you've been a nasty little Emo. You sneak into Daddy's liquor cabinent, and sample the wine coolers he buys for Mommy.

Today's mantra is simple. Drink
Run
Puke
Repeat.

Nothing goes with an adult beverage like a smoke. You will be permitted Lucky Strikes during the run portion.

Not so much fun now, right?
You forgot to pull the filters off!
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Old 07-31-2009, 03:47 PM   #14
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Day 12 Mano e Mano

You will be paired with another emo whom you must hunt and either kill or force into indentured servitude. Any captured emo has 24 hours to kill captor and escape or be sold to Soylent Green Industries.

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Old 07-31-2009, 03:59 PM   #15
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You forgot to pull the filters off!
Old school Luckies had no filters. I smoked them in Basic Training (Yeah, if you didn't fall out of the runs, there was a time when you could smoke in Boot), because that was the cig NOBODY would try to bum off of you.
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:00 PM   #16
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Day 12 Mano e Mano

You will be paired with another emo whom you must hunt and either kill or force into indentured servitude. Any captured emo has 24 hours to kill captor and escape or be sold to Soylent Green Industries.
LOL! Soylent Green is People!!!!!
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:28 PM   #17
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Day 8: Tangos Day of Madness

0600: Day 9, Hearth and plow maybe.
Day 13 - Hearth and Plow

Ok, I might be able to help with this one. Welcome to the farm, this is where food comes from. It is not quick, nor is it easy.

This is a post hole digger and believe it or not, it is used to dig holes.... for posts. These posts hold up the fence that keeps the tasty critters from eating the tasty crops. Now we build fence. It will also not be quick, nor easy. Yes, that is what barb wire really looks like. You may use gloves if you must.

This, is a pear (cactus) burner. It is a propane tank with a shoulder strap and a burner wand. Yes, it is basically a small flame thrower. No, you will not feel like Rambo. We are in South Texas, rain is a foreign concept. Animals get hungry and eat any living vegetation. In the 110 degree summer heat you will now go burn the thorns off of cactus. Enjoy.

Good, you're done. Stop hugging the purged tank. Yes, I know it is nice and cool but there is more work to do.

Hay bales. They are heavy, there are lots of them, and they are doing no good in the barn. No, they aren't doing any good on the trailer either. I think you see where this is going.
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:34 PM   #18
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Since my bros are beating manly drums today, and most of us have our toenails clear, it's time to save our youth, and pass the acetelyne torch.

I propose a man boot camp, 30 days long. You will gain admission at 15 years of age. Fail, and you can spend the rest of your life earning minimum wage in a Vietnamese nail salon, making women attractive for real men.

In the vein of Skull's Man Law thread, I need 30 submissions for a 20 hour activity. It should build character, foster the confidence a boy will need to survive in a cold world, and drive out any desire to dress like Boy George.

Day 1: Breakfast will entail you taking your gay little @$$ to the woodline, where I will take care of your Emo hairdo with a Tom Brown Tracker knife. You will take that knife, harvest some hickory to smoke the boar you will be slaying, and learn to start a f*****g fire.

Harvest your pig. Believe it or not, that snorting evil monster is the same thing that comes on that bun at the food court, but you've never had to look it in the eye before it got to the bun. Now you do. Hungry yet? Punk.

Day 2, please, gentlemen.
you can't give them a knife, they'll start cutting themselves..
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:41 PM   #19
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Day 13 - Hearth and Plow

Ok, I might be able to help with this one. Welcome to the farm, this is where food comes from. It is not quick, nor is it easy.

This is a post hole digger and believe it or not, it is used to dig holes.... for posts. These posts hold up the fence that keeps the tasty critters from eating the tasty crops. Now we build fence. It will also not be quick, nor easy. Yes, that is what barb wire really looks like. You may use gloves if you must.

This, is a pear (cactus) burner. It is a propane tank with a shoulder strap and a burner wand. Yes, it is basically a small flame thrower. No, you will not feel like Rambo. We are in South Texas, rain is a foreign concept. Animals get hungry and eat any living vegetation. In the 110 degree summer heat you will now go burn the thorns off of cactus. Enjoy.

Good, you're done. Stop hugging the purged tank. Yes, I know it is nice and cool but there is more work to do.

Hay bales. They are heavy, there are lots of them, and they are doing no good in the barn. No, they aren't doing any good on the trailer either. I think you see where this is going.
Well done, and welcome aboard.
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:44 PM   #20
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you can't give them a knife, they'll start cutting themselves..
I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.
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