Alternate Meanings for Common Words
You are Unregistered, please register to use all of the features of!    
Firearm & Gun Forum - > General Discussion Forums > The Club House >

Alternate Meanings for Common Words

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-05-2013, 10:09 PM   #1
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Daoust_Nat's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Orlando,Florida
Posts: 2,328
Liked 1450 Times on 705 Posts
Likes Given: 106

Default Alternate Meanings for Common Words

For entertainment purposes only. I've done no - zero - jack squat - due diligence on this to check to see if it's authentic but some of the answers are great.

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle, n. An ancient Chinese olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by paving machinery.
Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
A bad day at the range is better then a good day on the job!
Daoust_Nat is offline  
People Like This 
Reply With Quote

Join Today - It's Free!

Are you a firearms enthusiast? Then we hope you will join the community. You will gain access to post, create threads, private message, upload images, join groups and more.

Firearms Talk is owned and operated by fellow firearms enthusiasts. We strive to offer a non-commercial community to learn and share information.

Join Today! - Click Here

Old 08-05-2013, 11:34 PM   #2
Feedback Score: 1 reviews
robocop10mm's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Austin,Texas, by God!!
Posts: 11,130
Liked 3814 Times on 1947 Posts
Likes Given: 447


ROFLOL!!! Thanks. I needed a good laugh.
In life, strive to take the high road....It offers a better field of fire.
"Robo is right" Fuzzball
robocop10mm is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2013, 12:06 AM   #3
The Stanley Cup winners......the Blackhawks
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
winds-of-change's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 26,135
Liked 9357 Times on 5580 Posts
Likes Given: 12711


VERY FUNNY. I laughed until I could barely breathe.
Honor Student: School of Hard Knocks
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Quando Omni Flunkus Moritatus
winds-of-change is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2013, 12:07 AM   #4
I used to play keyboards, but now ...
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Balota's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Glenpool, Oklahoma
Posts: 5,037
Liked 3850 Times on 2293 Posts
Likes Given: 3364


That was from the Washington Post. Here's some more in a similar vein.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States
Practice does NOT make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Only perfect practice makes perfect.
Balota is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2013, 01:14 AM   #5
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
AR10's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Glock Certified Armorer In Occupied USA
Posts: 2,268
Liked 1139 Times on 730 Posts
Likes Given: 246


This thread is gay. lol
AR10 is offline  
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Cheapest ballistics gel alternate SRK97 DIY Projects 4 05-07-2013 02:54 PM
Gun Control Laws: Where Common Sense Is Not So Common, an Officer’s Perspective gunnut07 Legal and Activism 9 08-05-2012 09:39 PM
Alternate Energy & Fuels MobileMarine The Club House 18 06-26-2012 09:53 PM
Homeland Security signs - their real meanings zhuk The Club House 3 10-19-2009 12:34 PM
An excellent alternate weapon Mark F Other Weapons 25 04-01-2009 06:00 AM

Newest Threads