Action Hero Deathmatch
First off, this isn't to be taken lightly. Deathmatches never should be taken lightly.
Second, I wrestled with the idea of leaving these guys in their hey-day, or as they stand today. I think it's probably wiser to leave them in their prime, although the greatest still maintain a degree of bad@ssness.
It's a bracket tournament system, once three have responded with a winner, the winner moves to the quarters.
Cite credible reasons for your pick.
1) David Carradine vs. Hulk Hogan
2) Steven Seagal vs. Sly Stallone
3) Van Damme vs. Jackie Chan
4) Chuck Norris vs. Ahnold Schwarzenegger
And group 2:
Jet Li vs. Tony Jaa
Jason Statham vs. Daniel Craig
Wesley Snipes vs. Mr. T
Tom Cruise vs. Ralph Macchio
2) Seagal in his prime was fast and he's a big dude (also packs a 1911)
3) Van Damme in his prime was a bad mo-fo
4) Chuck of course, because he's Chuck
Craig as I just think he's tougher (besides, he's Bond)
Wesley Snipes is a 7th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do
Macchio as Cruise is a twit
1) David Carradine vs. Hulk Hogan Carradine as he would just move out of the way and make hogan waste all his energy chasing him then he would chop his ass down.
2) Steven Seagal vs. Sly Stallone Sly would kick this douche bags azz all over the ring.
3) Van Damme vs. Jackie Chan Jackie Chan for all the goofy in that guy is he about 5 times faster and more fluid that john "War Face" Van Damme.
4) Chuck Norris vs. Ahnold Schwarzenegger HUM DUAH NORRIS he would just look at the govanator and he would die right on the spot.
Jet Li vs. Tony Jaa Draw in my eyes.
Jason Statham vs. Daniel Craig Jason because he is bigger
Wesley Snipes vs. Mr. T That would be like Kimbo Slice fighting GSP or I hate to say it BJ Penn. Snipes would walk all over T because that dude is slowed down by all the bling.
Tom Cruise vs. Ralph Macchio Ralph Macchio because dude he is the Karate Kid and Cruise is nothing but a wait for it.............. KID TOUCHER.
1) Hogan over Carradine- as much as I loved the guy, and in spite of the fact that nobody did more for martial arts in America, I think Carradine had very limited skills.
2) Seagal over Sly- Seagal actually has skills, in spite of all his other baggage. Sly is in fantastic shape, better than most a third his age, but can he fight? Speed and skill factor to Seagal.
3)Chan over JCVD- The guy is like a double jointed monkey on meth. Jean Claude got alot of his skills from ballet. A close one, but Chan gets the nod.
4)Chuck over Ahnuld- The Gov has more going for him than people think, but Chuck was a pioneer.
1)Li over Jaa- I don't know what Jaa's real training is, but Li used to do some crazy s**t. Another close one, but I just can't see Li losing this one.
2)Statham over Craig- Not even close. Statham has crazy Hong Kong skills, Craig benefits from crazy editing.
3)Snipes over T- I never saw T do much of anything but be intimidating. Decent boxing skills in Rocky 3, but Snipes is the total package.
4) Macchio over Cruise- Despite the hokey everything, the kid did some impressive stuff in that movie, and if he's 50 now, he probably still looks like he's 17. No competition here, Miyagi-san.
So unless somebody wishes to contest, the quarters look like this:
1) Hogan vs. Seagal
2) Chan vs. Norris
3) Li vs. Statham
4) Snipes vs. Macchio
I wait for 6 decisions on this one, judges.
1) Hogan vs. Seagal - Tough fight but Seagal Wins just because Hogan couldn't get a hold of him.
2) Chan vs. Norris - Norris Wins with a knockout, he's just to powerful for Chan.
3) Li vs. Statham - Li takes Statham. Too much speed and martial arts knowledge.
4) Snipes vs. Macchio - Snipes over Macchio. Trained vs Movie trained, no contest!
Statham was a diver and a model, which makes him all the more impressive for overcoming the ghey imparted by those two endeavors.
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