Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > History > "Funny" War Stories

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-02-2014, 03:07 AM   #11
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
SSGN_Doc's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4,128
Liked 1977 Times on 1175 Posts
Likes Given: 424

Default

C3s story reminded me of USS Barb, which is the submarine credited with "sinking a train".

The Barb is one of the highest decorated subs from WWII. Barb is officially credited with sinking 17 enemy vessels totaling 96,628 tons.
Upon completion of her 11th patrol, Barb was sent to the U.S. for a yard overhaul and alterations, which included the installation of 5 in (130 mm) rocket launchers at the Captain's request. Returning to the Pacific, she commenced her 12th and final patrol on 8 June. This patrol was conducted along the coasts of the Sea of Okhotsk. For the first time in U.S. submarine warfare, Barb successfully employed rockets, against the towns of Shari, Hokkaido; Shikuka, Kashiho; and Shiritoru on Karafuto. She also bombarded the town of Kaihyo To with her regular armament, destroying 60 percent of the town. She next landed a party of carefully selected crew members who blew up a railroad train. During the night of 22–23 July 1945 these men went ashore at Karafuto, Japan, and planted an explosive charge that subsequently wrecked a train. This raid is represented by the train symbol in the middle bottom of the battle flag.

__________________
SSGN_Doc is offline  
shadecorp Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 02:01 PM   #12
Podcast Host/ American Patriot/DAV!
FTF_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DrFootball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northern Arizona(Fmr. NYC & L.I.)
Posts: 7,125
Liked 2844 Times on 1948 Posts
Likes Given: 582

Default

(Continued from Last Post) In walks a Major, with his name tape covered. The Previous summer, while In Honduras & El Salvador, I had read a Book called "the Five Fingers" about a Joint Special Forces(Aussie/American/Canadian) operation to Kill NVA Generals toward the end of the War. Somehow I thought this was going to be more interesting then that. There was no "Small Talk," no social "nicey nicey" "Son, your being seconded to a new special aviation unit. Everything you are about to hear is classified. At the end of this conversation, you will have exactly one chance to respectfully bow out, and you can return to your unit, but if you even Breathe one word of this to anyone, your friends, your parents or other family, even your cousins(ok, so they know about my "family tree. I'm screwed" I Thought to myself,"....) I'm going to have you thrown in a military prison for 10 years! You read me Soldier?" "I think I get the Drift, sir" "Ok then." he continued, "We have one small problem. Your Rank. You have only been In Uniform a little shy of 2 and a half years, Made grade 2 on your birthday in 1980,..but you have only been in rank 17 months,..no one in this unit flies at rank of less then grade 3 or 1st. Lt. Promotable to Captain. so in your case, this is what we decided. We're going to make you an acting grade 3. If you complete the training period successfully, that will become a permanent promotion, if not, we will have to find some unit to send you to if you wash out, Do you understand?" "yes Sir!" I said. I was now one scared ****less 22 & a half year old. I kept hearing my Old Man's Crusty NCO voice in the back of my head telling me not to volunteer for anything. The Major was thumbing through some papers which I could see had my last name (spelled correctly, for once!) on it. He was speaking again,.."top of your WOCS class,..4th overall At Rucker, 3rd overall at Aviation Weapons Training school, I Like this one son! You told a female Training Cadre Officer at SERE that She should orally perform on you since thats the closest she would ever come to having a "godly" experience! You have some Pair of Balls Son! " He continued.. "Successful Transition to the UH-60 Airframe, Also Airborne & Ranger Graduate! Hmmm....Father a Career Federal LE & decorated Army Reservist, both Grandfathers & Great Uncle Served in WWI, One Cousin an Air Force 2-Star, the Other an Army Major with a Top Secret assignment,..and the third who did not return home from Vietnam, Sorry....." "Sir" I cut in, at least with Politeness for once, "what does my Family History have to do with me Supposedly being in this Unit" I said. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like the answer. Not one bit. "We know everything about you son,..because we investigated you. Do you think It was just dumb luck you were Pulled from the 227th to go to Blackhawk school? We know you were bullied until you began taking Judo classes In the 6th grade, we know you have an Autistic brother, we know you play guitar and have a Ham setup at home. We know you are very talented with small arms, so you want to ask me what else we know about you?" "No" I sighed. "I think you gave me a nice clear panavision picture Sir" I said. "So what am I supposed to do NOW?" "Down the hall to the left, is a wardroom with some sandwich platters and drinks. Go grab yourself some lunch with your friends. We are moving all your personal possessions over to your new barracks. The training is 25 Weeks total, followed by 25 weeks of "probationary" advanced training. At this time next year, IF you don't wash out, you will be Fully Mission Qualified." "that's It?" I said "Thats it", he replied. "Oh," he said "one more thing, now that you have agreed to volunteer. Welcome" as he stretched out his right hand while removing the black tape from over his name tab with the left. "Sloan, Larry Sloan, because after today it will be "Major Sloan Sir" for the next 6 months. I'm your Training Cadre Commander." While I may like it eventually, I wasn't going to like it one bit for the next 6 months...

Excerpted from the forthcoming book "I'm no Hero, I was just doing my Job" a work of Fiction based on Fact. Copryrights Pending......

__________________

Dr. Bill(Dr.Football)
CWO-4 US ARMY Ret./Med.
Proud to be a Soldier, Proud to be a Night Stalker!
The 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment(S.O.A.R.) The Army's Taxi for Special Operators *NSDQ*


Last edited by DrFootball; 01-02-2014 at 02:06 PM.
DrFootball is offline  
shadecorp Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 07:11 PM   #13
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Northeast San Antonio, TX
Posts: 1,532
Liked 653 Times on 448 Posts
Likes Given: 46

Default

Ok a lil bit of backstory on my unit and its mission in Iraq I was a member of a field artillery unit(M270A1 Rocket Artillery) with the 4th ID we were supposed to land our supercargo boat in Turkey and come in thru the north and provide long range artillery support throughout the country. Needless to say that did not happen as Turkey refused to allow us to enter. So we get rerouted to Kuwait and arrive at the same time as most of the Marines supercargo boats. So we off load the boats and stage our stuff in Kuwait. Our Brigade commander is itching to get Soldiers in combat so he repeatedly bugs our Division commander to allow us in on the invasion. We end up heading into Iraq a day behind the main push. Our battalion is split off from the brigade and is basically told "Hey do whatever the hell you guys feel like doing" Luckily our Batt Commander is a hard charging Warrior see article http://www.militarycorruption.com/LTCWest-1.htm he takes a look at a map says here lets go capture this base and use it as our own. We arrive at Al Taji airbase after 2 days driving in pretty heavy combat and attack the 5 dudes left to guard all of Taji. Now we rename it as FOB Gunner. Our commander calls brigade and division and says "Hey now what?" they say "ummm whatever" So we build up our defensive perimeter on this base and consolidate near the airfield. 2 days later a SF ODA and ODB team shows up and are like "Hey guys you mind if we crash here and set up our compound" Our LTC is like "sure! If you guys can take a few days and train my guys in how to conduct raids so they don't get themselves killed" So the A team gives us about a weeks training and some equipment in trade(We had tons of british MRE's we had acquired and they had flashbangs out the wazoo) and sets us loose on the wonderful people of Taji. We started conducting raids and got several lower people on the Deck of Cards. The division commander said hey guys why don't you all start doing some vehicle checkpoints on the highway you might snag some HVT's so we were like "Yes Sir" we nabbed an Iraqi Air Force General on highway 1 it was funny because when we stopped him he had a driver and was being chauferred the driver was like" Hey why are you stopping us? Don't you know who this is its this is Blah blah blah Al-Tikriti!!!!" we were like Ding Ding Ding" any relation to Saddam Hussain Al-Tikriti you sir are under arrest. Now the funny story one day we were doing a random checkpoint when a bongo van drives up with 3 guys in it we get them out and look in the vehicle and find a PILE of weapons and ammo were talking about multiple AK's, a couple HK G3 clones, RPG's and rockets all sorts of goodies. So we ask them "What are all the weapons for?" we get the classic Iraqi response "Ali Baba" ie thief so we have a chuckle when a Private mutters "Ali Baba must be one badass Mofo around here!" So we call the TOC and ask for direction they say" Hook em up and bring em in and blow the van and weapons in place" Now like I said we were a artillery unit only E-5 and above had a grenade apiece only the SFC had a smoke grenade and a thermite grenade, we had 1 AT4 on us and absolutely no explosives soooo our Plt Leader say hey get Pvt so and so to drive it off the road into the ditch and Sgt so and so you throw the thermite grenade onto the pile of weapons" Ok seems like a good plan so they execute. we are all watching as they slam it into the ditch the Sgt jumps out and throws in the grenade he then looks down and sees a crapload of UXO buried in the sandby the van and damn near craps himself he comes sprinting towards our 5 ton screaming "get down get down!!!" so we all hunker down after about 3 minutes of nothing happening something in the van finally touches off and sets off like 5 or 6 buried 105 rounds scaring the **** out of the people driving down the highway and dusting us with dirt and debris. We all start laughing at the mayhem we just caused until the radio starts going off with the TOC screaming "Is everyone Ok was that a freaking IED?" try explaining that one to the commander. Also in an unrelated story my 1SG shot a camel spider at 2am in the barracks talk about funny everyone comes running out of our rooms only wearing a kevlar, Ibas and our rifles or in various other states of undress.

__________________
seancslaughter is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 08:04 PM   #14
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
zaitsev44's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,017
Liked 191 Times on 128 Posts
Likes Given: 68

Default "Funny" War Stories

Wow these are some great stories. Here's a story that shows how forgetting something can save your life. My friends stepfather served two tours in Iraq, he mainly ran convoys. But one evening he was on the OP tower (it wasn't a tower, just an elevated observation point), and he forgot what time his watch was over so he left the OP and went to ask his superior his question. As he is walking a RPG hits the OP and a small firefight breaks out. He would've been killed, he also has several stories of observing captured truck after captured truck packed with weapons of all kinds. AKs, SKS's, MG3 machine guns, Lee Enfields, and ammunition of all calibers. He took a few "momentos" from his service, a M16 magazine loaded with tracers, his helmet, fatigues, a few pairs of boots, a jar of sand, several million defunct Iraqi dinars with Saddams ugly face on them, and his bayonet.

__________________

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. - Sir Winston Churchill
Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. - General George S. Patton Sr.

zaitsev44 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 08:16 PM   #15
Supporting Member
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
shadecorp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: S.E. of los angeles
Posts: 1,060
Liked 521 Times on 291 Posts
Likes Given: 2294

Default

A friend told me this story.
He was in Viet Nam, Air Force,
One day he was prowling around the base,

Came across an old JU-52,
went aboard to have a look
Came Face to Face with a Cobra.
He abandoned the ship real quick.
__________________
'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.'
Ronald Reagan
shadecorp is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 09:46 PM   #16
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West, by God, Funroe,Louisiana
Posts: 18,707
Liked 9199 Times on 5056 Posts
Likes Given: 74

Default

Good friend of mine, seemed like he always just had weird luck.
Staging near the entrance to our FOB, preparing to go on patrol, he sits down on the curb and lights up a smoke.
Off in the distance, we hear a "toonk... toonk... toonk..." Incoming mortars.
My buddy, Joe, just sits there and says "eff it." while everyone else is ducking and running for cover.
2 mortars land near our motor pool, making a lot of noise and giving us a cool show, but causing no real damage to speak of whatsoever.
The third... landed right next to Joe. It buried itself right there where the concrete curb met the asphalt, maybe 2 feet from his right thigh. Joe was still sitting there smoking his non filtered Camel like nothing had happened at all. He looks over at the tail fins sticking out of the ground, then calmly brushed the dirt from his sleeve, and took another drag. Looked at us, and just as cool as can be, "Y'all ready to go or not?"

Just a few days later, leaving on another foot patrol, he's walking out towards the entrance to our FOB, smoking yet another Camel... "toonk... toonk... toonk..." Everyone ducks and runs for cover again. 2 hit in the yard, destroying our erstwhile barber shop and shower trailer (no personnel injured at all), and the third hits the ground right in front of Joe. Again, not going off. It landed close enough that he almost stumbled over it in his next step. He calmly wiggles and jiggles it out of the ground, and begins walking towards the UXO pit, letting it swing by his side. He stopped about 5 yards from it and tossed it in. Turned around and announced that he was ready to go on patrol.

Then he got all shot up on his 5th tour. He's still alive and kicking though.

__________________
trip286 is offline  
texaswoodworker Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 10:40 PM   #17
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Northeast San Antonio, TX
Posts: 1,532
Liked 653 Times on 448 Posts
Likes Given: 46

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by trip286 View Post
Good friend of mine, seemed like he always just had weird luck.

Staging near the entrance to our FOB, preparing to go on patrol, he sits down on the curb and lights up a smoke.

Off in the distance, we hear a "toonk... toonk... toonk..." Incoming mortars.

My buddy, Joe, just sits there and says "eff it." while everyone else is ducking and running for cover.

2 mortars land near our motor pool, making a lot of noise and giving us a cool show, but causing no real damage to speak of whatsoever.

The third... landed right next to Joe. It buried itself right there where the concrete curb met the asphalt, maybe 2 feet from his right thigh. Joe was still sitting there smoking his non filtered Camel like nothing had happened at all. He looks over at the tail fins sticking out of the ground, then calmly brushed the dirt from his sleeve, and took another drag. Looked at us, and just as cool as can be, "Y'all ready to go or not?"



Just a few days later, leaving on another foot patrol, he's walking out towards the entrance to our FOB, smoking yet another Camel... "toonk... toonk... toonk..." Everyone ducks and runs for cover again. 2 hit in the yard, destroying our erstwhile barber shop and shower trailer (no personnel injured at all), and the third hits the ground right in front of Joe. Again, not going off. It landed close enough that he almost stumbled over it in his next step. He calmly wiggles and jiggles it out of the ground, and begins walking towards the UXO pit, letting it swing by his side. He stopped about 5 yards from it and tossed it in. Turned around and announced that he was ready to go on patrol.



Then he got all shot up on his 5th tour. He's still alive and kicking though.

We had a guy like that too lol Spc Jarman he was leading a foot patrol one day and a fedayeen fighter popped up maybe 40 feet in front of us with an RPK dude let rip an entire belt at us we all hit the ground except for Jarman after a few seconds you hear a click he runs dry Jarman is just standing there looking at the dude he snaps up his m4 and hits the dude with a 3 round burst and dropped him. Maybe a month later were doing a cordon and search my team is checking a house Jarman and his team are watching for squirters out the back door when "boom" the back door flies open knocking him to the ground he pops up and starts chasing the guy through the field when "brrrrrp" old dude is cut down by a Bradley coax now it just so happens Jarman did his laundry that day and forgot to put his ir reflectors back on his sleeve oh and his cat eyes are on his Kevlar sitting next to the door where he got knocked over so he sees the turret transverse towards him and hits the ground behind a lil berm and "brrrrrrp" coax lights him up he starts shouting "I'm American stop shooting stop shooting" and "brrrrrrp" and brrrrrrp this goes on a few times before he gets fed up and starts shooting back on burst now after a couple shots the tc of the Bradley calls cease fire and says "hey sounds like an m16 on burst" he calls out to Jarman "AMERICAN?" Jarman says "yes you ****ing idiot" the tc says "ok come out and walk this way" Jarman says "**** you you come to me" so the tc hops down and walks over to him and promptly gets knocked the **** out with a buttstroke followed by a "****ing stupid butterbars" that incident ended in a summarized art15 lol
__________________

this message was sent using my Barrett 50 straight to your brain.

seancslaughter is offline  
texaswoodworker Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 11:07 PM   #18
+ TRES VERBO DICTUM +
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Vincine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Adirondack Mts.
Posts: 3,271
Liked 1617 Times on 845 Posts
Likes Given: 1305

Default

I had a HS classmate who joined the Navy. He and another sailor were sent on shore in Viet-Nam to get a Christmas Tree. So they're driving around the country looking for a tree that could possibly remind someone of an evergreen. They found a tree and were cutting it down when they hear gun fire. Where they were, was supposed to be 'safe'.

They dive back into the jeep and head back to their base flat out. When they get close they encounter a crew sweeping for road mines. The guy in charge asks how far they came on that road. My friend tells him 10 miles (clicks?). Then the sweaper guy gets on the radio and says, "Road 27b (or whatever) is clear."

__________________
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it's boring and I go back to being me."
"You might as well be yourself, people won’t like you anyway."

Last edited by Vincine; 01-02-2014 at 11:14 PM.
Vincine is offline  
texaswoodworker Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
"unexplained events" stories....... winds-of-change The Club House 195 05-01-2013 06:59 PM
"Funny" designer? AcidFlashGordon The Club House 1 11-28-2009 11:47 AM
Funny "commercial" for a horror movie AcidFlashGordon The Club House 3 11-01-2009 02:43 PM
What the "Badge" means ***Funny*** Jusselin The Club House 5 10-09-2009 04:02 PM