Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > History > "Funny" War Stories

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-01-2014, 10:34 PM   #1
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
zaitsev44's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,015
Liked 189 Times on 126 Posts
Likes Given: 64

Default "Funny" War Stories

I want to collect some funny, ironic, ect. war stories for entertainment. I'll go first, this is a urban legend, but it had been proven by a few sources. It takes place in 1911 or so, in the Philippines: "Once in U.S. history an episode of Islamic terrorism was very quickly stopped. It happened in the Philippines about 1911, when Gen. John J. Pershing was in command of the garrison. There had been numerous Islamic terrorist attacks, so "Black Jack" told his boys to catch the perps and teach them a lesson.
Forced to dig their own graves, the terrorists were all tied to posts, execution style. The U.S. soldiers then brought in pigs and slaughtered them, rubbing their bullets in the blood and fat. Thus, the terrorists were terrorized; they saw that they would be contaminated with hogs' blood. This would mean that they could not enter Heaven, even if they died as terrorist martyrs.
All but one was shot, their bodies dumped into the grave, and the hog guts dumped atop the bodies. The lone survivor was allowed to escape back to the terrorist camp and tell his brethren what happened to the others. This brought a stop to terrorism in the Philippines for the next 50 years.
Pointing a gun into the face of Islamic terrorists won't make them flinch.
They welcome the chance to die for Allah. Like Gen. Pershing, we must show them that they won't get to Muslim heaven (which they believe has an endless supply of virgins) but instead will die with the hated pigs of the devil." What are some "funny" stories you've heard?

***(I know war is nothing to take light of and it's serious, and funny might be the wrong word, but I use it for a lack of a better word).

__________________

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. - Sir Winston Churchill
Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. - General George S. Patton Sr.

zaitsev44 is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today - It's Free!

Are you a firearms enthusiast? Then we hope you will join the community. You will gain access to post, create threads, private message, upload images, join groups and more.

Firearms Talk is owned and operated by fellow firearms enthusiasts. We strive to offer a non-commercial community to learn and share information.

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today! - Click Here


Old 01-01-2014, 10:47 PM   #2
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
SSGN_Doc's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4,105
Liked 1963 Times on 1164 Posts
Likes Given: 423

Default

Heard a story from a Viet Nam era Hospital Corpsman on how he received one if his wounds.

He was in a village in the back of a Jeep handing out candy bars to kids. Part of the strategy of winning hearts and minds. He says he was pretty much finished handing them out when one of the kids came out of a hut with a pistol and shoots him. He said that his flak jacket received the worst of the hit but deflected the bullet in at his armpit. The force of the bullet combined with us effort to dodge the bullet and stumbling over stuff in the back if the Jeep sent him falling backward out of the Jeep.

He stated that as he was falling the thought that went through his mind before he hit the ground was "Geez kid, if you don't like Hershey's with almonds, just say so."

__________________
SSGN_Doc is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2014, 11:32 PM   #3
Moderator
FTF_MODERATOR.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
c3shooter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Third bunker on the right,Central Virginia
Posts: 16,323
Liked 8388 Times on 3630 Posts
Likes Given: 1291

Default

Have ABSOLUTELY no documentation on this one- take it with a BIG grain of salt.

Vietnam, late in the war, Special Forces camp up near the DMZ. North Vietnamese Migs have overflown the camp at low level twice- and the camp had no anti-aircraft weapons if the Migs did decide to shoot them up.

The SF Commander had arranged to have 4 Redeye shoulder fired AA missilies sent to the camp- along with an 11Q Sgt to do a quick course on how to use one. The Redeyes and the instructor Sgt were one the way into the camp by Huey when they suddenly got a close pass at speed by a Mig. Came screaming head on at them, same altitude, slipped to the side, past them- and was making a big looping turn- coming back.

Everyone on board the Huey is in the warp 9 panic mode- but in the back of the Huey, the Redeye instructor is popping open the shipping case, pulls out a Redeye, slams the gas/battery unit in place, and as the Mig goes screaming by on his second pass- leans out of the open door of the Huey, and put a RedEye right up his tailpipe.

__________________

What we have heah is.... failure to communicate.

c3shooter is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2014, 11:48 PM   #4
Moderator
FTF_MODERATOR.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
c3shooter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Third bunker on the right,Central Virginia
Posts: 16,323
Liked 8388 Times on 3630 Posts
Likes Given: 1291

Default

But there IS documentation on THIS one- If you ever visit the Air Force Academy just North of Colorado Springs, stop by the display, and pay your respects to Diamond Lil. Take a look at her.

af-academy-b52.jpg

Take a CLOSE look at the mission honors painted on the side of the fuselage. Besides the bombs indicating combat bombing missions- did you notice the Mig?

“The particular feat was accomplished by Airman First Class Albert E. Moore, who brought down a MiG-21 which was closing to attack ‘Diamond Lil.’ The reason its MiG kill was so celebrated was that a B-52 which got within range of a fighter almost always lost the fight. B-52s were built on the assumption that enemy fighters would be kept at bay by their own fighter escort, and so they had minimal defensive guns."


He had quad 50s against the cannon and missiles of the Mig 21. The Mig 21 rolled in to the 6 o'clock, closing fast- and Lil's pilot hit his speed brakes- causing the Mig to close much faster- and closer- than he planned, At which point, Airman Moore (the only enlisted man on a B52) slapped him out of the air.

__________________

What we have heah is.... failure to communicate.

c3shooter is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2014, 11:55 PM   #5
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
1411's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 117
Liked 17 Times on 15 Posts
Likes Given: 2

Default

I enjoyed reading these, thank you

__________________
1411 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 12:39 AM   #6
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 48
Liked 6 Times on 5 Posts
Likes Given: 34

Default

Keep 'em coming, people!

__________________
Cutlass327 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 12:49 AM   #7
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West, by God, Funroe,Louisiana
Posts: 18,707
Liked 9199 Times on 5056 Posts
Likes Given: 74

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by c3shooter View Post
But there IS documentation on THIS one- If you ever visit the Air Force Academy just North of Colorado Springs, stop by the display, and pay your respects to Diamond Lil. Take a look at her.

Attachment 131447

Take a CLOSE look at the mission honors painted on the side of the fuselage. Besides the bombs indicating combat bombing missions- did you notice the Mig?

“The particular feat was accomplished by Airman First Class Albert E. Moore, who brought down a MiG-21 which was closing to attack ‘Diamond Lil.’ The reason its MiG kill was so celebrated was that a B-52 which got within range of a fighter almost always lost the fight. B-52s were built on the assumption that enemy fighters would be kept at bay by their own fighter escort, and so they had minimal defensive guns."


He had quad 50s against the cannon and missiles of the Mig 21. The Mig 21 rolled in to the 6 o'clock, closing fast- and Lil's pilot hit his speed brakes- causing the Mig to close much faster- and closer- than he planned, At which point, Airman Moore (the only enlisted man on a B52) slapped him out of the air.
That story gave me a hard on. So did the last one. Not gonna lie.

I have one, I'll tell it when I get my hands on a computer.
__________________
trip286 is offline  
texaswoodworker Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 02:39 AM   #8
Podcast Host/ American Patriot/DAV!
FTF_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DrFootball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northern Arizona(Fmr. NYC & L.I.)
Posts: 7,009
Liked 2757 Times on 1898 Posts
Likes Given: 558

Default

The Following is an excerpt from the forthcoming Book: "I'm no Hero, I was just doing my Job"(working title)

This takes place in the summer of 1983. But lets rewind back 4 years to the summer of 1979, when yours truly had a "moment" and decided to "drop Out" of CUNY-John Jay College Of Criminal Justice's "Police Jurisprudence" Program and "Drop In" to the Local US ARMY Recruiting center with his Transcripts, Associates Degree, and Flight Log Book....My Dad, "AL," a Career Federal LE And Army Reservist who had Served In Both Germany In 1948-49 and In The Korean War Until Late 1952. I got the "be careful what you wish for" speech when I swore in. He had been back to war in 1965 as a CID In Saigon. After WOCS, Flight School, And other interesting courses of study, Plus a Tour In Central America assisting the "Military Advisers," I had found myself recruited, so to speak, to a "specialized" Aviation Unit. Well it was funny. They told my entire Battalion we were changing Commands, and Bases.. I had moved over from the 227Th Av. Batt. 1st BHCT-1st Cav. to the 229th Av. Batt. after my Central American Vacation. So we packed up EVERYTHING from FT. Hood, and Flew it all to Ft. Campbell Ky. On arrival, some personnel records were missing. First Sign of SNAFU: The Army Doesn't Just Loose Personnel Files unless they WANT to. Our CO was the Quiet Type, and doesn't "make Waves" that would keep him from rising to Grade 6, and he hoped eventually, Grade 7. after a day and a half, it was straitened out alright, we were told(8 flight Officers and 8 enlisted crewmen) that we were "at the wrong field" and we needed to go to the "other" field on the base. Once we got there we were all separated, and told to wait in the rooms we were left in. That was at 10:30 Hrs. It was 12:15 Hrs. before the door opened again.........
(continues)

__________________

Dr. Bill(Dr.Football)
CWO-4 US ARMY Ret./Med.
Proud to be a Soldier, Proud to be a Night Stalker!
The 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment(S.O.A.R.) The Army's Taxi for Special Operators *NSDQ*

DrFootball is offline  
shadecorp Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 02:59 AM   #9
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
TankTop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,096
Liked 666 Times on 341 Posts

Default

First and only air to air kill by a F-15E

The weather was bad that night, with clouds from about 4,000 feet to about 18,000 feet. We were cruising above the weather, waiting for AWACS [an E-3 Airborne Warning and Control System aircraft] or someone else to pass us some coordinates on some Scuds.
AWACS gave us a call and said that a Special Forces team was in trouble. They had been found by the Iraqis, who were moving to cut them off. We had ten to fifteen Special Forces teams in the general area looking for Scuds. This team was about 300 miles across the border.
Five Iraqi helicopters were in their area-about fifty miles to our west. As we headed in their direction, I put my wingman in a four-mile trail formation behind me because I had to go down through the weather. When I was about fifty miles from the team, Capt. Dan Bakke, my back-seater, began working the radar to look for the helicopters. We got contacts on them moving west to east, just like the AWACS had said.
Dan and I started talking about what we were going to do. We knew there were helicopters down there, but if we were going to shoot them down, we wanted confirmation that they were bad guys. We called up AWACS, call sign Cougar, and asked them if there were any friendly helicopters in the area. The AWACS controller said, "We don't have any friendlies in the area. Any helicopters you find, you are cleared to shoot."
We got a little closer and kept going down to get below the weather. I wanted to confirm, one more time, before we lost contact with AWACS, that these were definitely bad guys and not some of our Special Forces helicopters coming to get the team. We had a few based in Syria that would have been following the same general course and could have gotten to the area fairly quickly. AWACS confirmed there were no friendlies in the area.
We continued to press in and were down to about 2,500 feet along the major road between Baghdad and the Syrian border. That area was always hot with a lot of AAA. I was working the radar, and Dan was working the high-resolution FLIR in the targeting pod to find the helicopters. When we popped out of the clouds fifteen to twenty miles from the team, Dan could see the helicopters with the pod. They were moving pretty much abreast, with the lead out in front in the middle. They were still moving west to east. They were moving and stopping at regular intervals.
There was also a group of troops on the ground to the east of the team. We started getting AAA fire from these troops. To us, it looked as if they were trying to herd the team with the helicopters into the troops to the east. The helicopters were keeping an even distance from each other, and we figured they might be dropping off troops to help herd the team.
The image on the pod was good enough to identify the helicopters as probable [Mi-24] "Hinds," five to ten miles out. Hinds can carry troops and are heavily armed with rockets and machine guns. As soon as the helicopters picked up and started moving, we were getting hits off them on the radar. The radar would stay locked on them when they were on the ground because the moving rotor blades were picked up.
Dan and I discussed how we wanted to conduct the attack. We decided to hit the lead helicopter with a GBU-10 while he was on the ground. If we hit him, he would be destroyed. If he moved off before the bomb landed, it would still get the troops he just left on the ground. It would also give the other helicopters something to think about, which might give the team a chance to get away in the confusion. We would then circle around and pop the others as we could. We passed our plan to our wingman and told him to get the first helicopter he saw with an AIM-9.
By this time, we were screaming over the ground, doing about 600 knots--almost 700 mph. The AAA was still coming up pretty thick. Our course took us right over the top of the Iraqi troops to the east of the team. We didn't know exactly where our team was, but it was looking to us like things were getting pretty hairy for the Special Forces guys.
Dan was lasing the lead helicopter. We let the bomb go from about four miles out while the leader was on the ground. Because of our speed, it had a hell of a range on it-more range than an AIM-9. I got AIM-9 guidance going and uncaged a Sidewinder. I was ready to fire the missile as soon as we were in range.
Just as we released the bomb, the airspeed readout on the radar showed the target at 100 knots and climbing. The lead chopper had picked up and started moving. I said, "There's no chance the bomb will get him now," even though Dan was working hard to keep the laser spot on him. I got a good lock with my missile and was about to pickle off a Sidewinder when the bomb flew into my field of view on the targeting IR screen.
There was a big flash, and I could see pieces flying in different directions. It blew the helicopter to hell, damn near vaporized it. We sat there for a few seconds, just staring. By that time, the AAA was getting real heavy and the other helicopters were starting to scatter. I told my wingman to put three Mk. 82 500-pounders on that same spot to get any troops that the helos dropped off.
We beat up the area with bombs and were going to circle around and come down on them again. I popped up above 10,000 feet and talked to AWACS to tell them what was going on. They said, "I understand you visually ID'ed that as an Iraqi helo." I said, "No, it's still dark out here, but I saw a FLIR image of what I took to be a Hind."

__________________
TankTop is offline  
shadecorp Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2014, 03:07 AM   #10
Feedback Score: 1 reviews
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Reno,Texas
Posts: 10,211
Liked 6559 Times on 3635 Posts
Likes Given: 27929

Default

"What the Hell was on 572s right wing?"



Quote:
In October 1965, CDR Clarence W. Stoddard, Jr., Executive Officer of VA-25 "Fist of the Fleet", flying A-1H Skyraider Bu. No. 135297, NE/572, from Carrier Air Wing Two aboard USS Midway, carried a special bomb to the North Vietnamese in commemoration of the 6-millionth pound of ordnance dropped. This bomb was unique because of the type..... it was a toilet! Also unique to this mission is the fact this aircraft was named "Paper Tiger II" (a temporary name used for just this one flight).
Quote:
The following is an account of this event, courtesy of Clint Johnson, Captain, USNR Ret. Captain Johnson was one of the two VA-25 A-1 Skyraider pilots credited with shooting down a MiG-17 on June 20, 1965.

----I was a pilot in VA-25 on the 1965 Vietnam cruise.

572 was flown by CDR C. W. "Bill" Stoddard. His wingman in 577 (which was my assigned airplane) was LCDR Robin Bacon, who had a wing station mounted movie camera (the only one remaining in the fleet from WWII).

The flight was a Dixie Station strike (South Vietnam) going to the Delta. When they arrived in the target area and CDR Stoddard was reading the ordnance list to the FAC, he ended with "and one code name Sani-Flush". The FAC couldn't believe it and joined up to see it. It was dropped in a dive with LCDR Bacon flying tight wing position to film the drop. When it came off, it turned hole to the wind and almost struck his airplane. It made a great ready room movie. The FAC said that it whistled all the way down.

The toilet was a damaged toilet, which was going to be thrown overboard. One of our plane captains rescued it and the ordnance crew made a rack, tailfins and nose fuse for it. Our checkers maintained a position to block the view of the air boss and the Captain while the aircraft was taxiing forward. Just as it was being shot off we got a 1MC message from the bridge, "What the hell was on 572's right wing?" There were a lot of jokes with air intelligence about germ warfare. I wish that we had saved the movie film.
Sadly, the pilot (CDR Stoddard) didn't survive the war. May he rest in piece.

Quote:
CDR Stoddard was later killed while flying 572 in Oct 1966. He was hit by three SAMs over Vinh.----
__________________
texaswoodworker is offline  
shadecorp Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
"unexplained events" stories....... winds-of-change The Club House 195 05-01-2013 06:59 PM
"Funny" designer? AcidFlashGordon The Club House 1 11-28-2009 11:47 AM
Funny "commercial" for a horror movie AcidFlashGordon The Club House 3 11-01-2009 02:43 PM
What the "Badge" means ***Funny*** Jusselin The Club House 5 10-09-2009 04:02 PM